FHFIM Abridged
by Amalockh
Summary: This is a oneshot Parody. They mostly are. Enjoy it. A Tribute to Lanipator, and none of the jokes are mine. In fact, Copyright to Lanipator, cause his work is more epic than mine.


**A/N: Today's random short is from a video I've watched a hundred times that it makes me feel sad that I do this parody in the name of it. :) **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**DA! DA! DAAA! Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends... Abridged!**

_~Bloo will play the role of a Dead guy~_

_CRASH! _

_"oh crap!" _

_Wilt _was near by and he yelled, "OH MY BOD, Somebody go get somehelp!" he told one guy.

"don't-tell-me-what-do!!" Said a random guy, bobbing his head up and down, but Wile said, "But he looks hurt!" "Who-gives-a-crap-screw-you-I'm-out!"

"WHAT!?" Bloo yelled at the author. "I'M NOT A DEAD GUY! I'M ALIVE AND AS COOL AS CAN BE... YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, ASSHOLE! Wait, where the hell am I?" he said.

Uh... Dead? said the author.

"Holy CRAP!!" screamed Bloo, who looked down. A lot of people were gathered at a random street Corner with a Sign that said "Elm" on it. An ambulance arrived and two guys with a stretcher came coming down. Bloo was clueless like usual. "UH, okay? And I'm NOT CLUELESS!"

Yes, yes you are! Tee-hee!

"Screw you!" Bloo tried launching a fist sandwich at the author but it was really a voice he seemed to be hearing, all gruff and stupid. Anyways, meet this imaginary Friend, Blooregard Q. Kazoo. The HERO of this story. Oddly enough, he's _dead_. Also, he's floating in midair.

Bloo saw that he was floating in midair and thought he turned into a superhero, unfortunately that hope dashed to the ground faster than a headless turkey. He thought he was on some kind of acid trip. "Where the Hell is that voice coming from?" He asked, looking sick. "Man that's the Last Time I accept Cool-aid from Terrance."

Shut UP! I'm trying to TALK here!

"No, YOU shut up!" yelled Bloo, looking like was walking. "I'm on the WORST Acid Trip of my life and your stupid Talking isn't helping!"

Well, if you really wanna freak out then look down.

"I don't what the hell that has to do with- HOLY CRAP!" Bloo looked down again and saw... HIMSELF!! DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!

Then the scene switched to black. "Now What?" Bloo asked.

**Title: Surprised to be Dead**

"OH, COME on!" yelled Bloo. " '**Surprised to be DEAD!?**' OF COURSE I'M SURPRISED TO BE DEAD!! No wonder Cartoon Network cancelled my show with Titles like THAT! I mean, LOOK AT IT!"

Would you shut up and get on with the PLOT!? I have STUFF to do!!

".... FINE!"

Bloo floated down and saw two Medical Persons with doctor Hats carrying a stretcher. The first guy said, "Man, he looks dead. Really dead- I mean Cadaverifically Dead! Let's tag him and bag him!"

A little boy nearby with a bandage on his head whom Bloo recognized as Mac, his creator stared at the spot as the other guy said, "Well this one fine, sir!" as for Mac, who cried, "But I bent my WOOKIE!"

"Anyway, tag him and bag him, it's almost happy hour!" "All right, BOOZE!" "HEY!" They might not have heard him but Bloo decided to try and punch his way back to his body. "GIVE me back my body!! I need that to commit idiot pranks and Nearly fatal Pranks like other positive Role Models! Listen you PRICK!!" Then bloo did his... SUPAPUNCH! Which had... no effect (PPFFFFFTTT) Also Bloo flew into the air with a few rolls- "OHGODWITHTHEFLYING!"

"Heh-heh, that tickle" said the first medical guy, as they jumped into the van and drived away.

"Well...." started Bloo, "Goddammit. I think I should take this opportunity to reminisce on past events and establish some kind of plot for the show to go on and start my character development, otherwise I'd lose my target audience of Ne-erdowells, kids, School Dropouts and assholes-" Then Bloo put a blobby finger to his blobby head and started flashbacking.

Blurry Effect.

_"It was another day at Fosters, my badass crib where I can crash and do whatever I please and totally be like- the COOLEST, and eat all the gooseberry Pies I want! But I digress- I was up on the roof being cool as usual when..." _

"Wasssup, Frankie?" Bloo said to frankie, the extremely hot red head who came out of the door to the roof place. "Well, as your angry and obligatory love interest, Bloo, I think you should be down in the wreck room, being _boring _and completely _uncool_!"

Bloo said "Uh-huh" then scratched his butt. Frankie screamed, making O shapes with her mouth "How DARE you itch your ASS when you talk to me!" "OH, did I forget about yours?" Bloo snuck behind when the scene put him in front of Frankie's Butt and he tried looking up the skirt, but Frankie had other ideas.

BA-BA-BA-BITCHSHLAP!!!

"BLOOREGARD, YOU PERVET!" Frankie mouthed off other things that didn't have any vocals. Bloo whazzled off saying, "hehe, it worth it! GIGGETY!"

Cut to uh... Some random Hallway!

Jackie Khones was waving a wallet of Pokemon cards in front of a Flat Cat. The Flat Cat said, "So ya REALLY Stole that guys pokemon Cards!?" Jackie Khones snorted back and said in the voice of a nerd, "HEH, _yeeeeeaa-aaaa-h Baby!_ And all I had to do was say I was that retard Bloo's Cousin!"

Both laughed and said, not seeing Bloo's awesome Shadow come up, "heheehehehehe, I love how we can joke without reprecusssion!!!" Then Flappy cat stammered, "Uh-oh!" and both saw Bloo standing there, looking PISSED!! OH THE SHIT'S ON NOW!! "You guys aren't my cousins, they're WAAAAAAY hotter than you!!!" Both backed up into the wall and Jackie stammered, "He-he-he-here Are the pokemon cards, just don't beet Me UUUH-U-H-UGHP!!" he screamed when Bloo smashed a fist into the wall.

"Po-ke-mon!? PO-KE-MON!! RRRRRRRAAAAARRRRGH!!!" Bloo roared like a beast, getting ready to whoop Jackie Khones' Smart ass! "THIS IS YU-GI-OH **TOWN MOTHER**-"

But at that point, MEAN and boring Chairman Herriman suddenly bounced right when Bloo was about to deliver the punch and said, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!! BLooregard, you're suspended, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, Now excuse while I go Imbibe More Sand."

Cut back to Bloo who's like, "Pfft, Sweet I'm out of here!"

But at that moment, Edwardo jumped in and said, "OKAY, Senior Bloo!! WE RIGHT!!"

(Bloo) "You mean fight." (Ed) "That's what I SAID!!"

"Why does Goku have the night off?"

"My name isn't VEGETA!! I'M NOT EVEN A VEGETABLE!!"

Bloo, being cool as usual said, "... Loser says what!?"

"What!?"

"HA! Now to get kicking your ass! With signature Badass Music!" '

(Daniel Parker's track, You had a Bad Day, plays in the background)

Ed said "This is Senor Bloo's bad ass music? I'm not getting my ass kicked to this!" Then Ed started flapping his mouth and jaw up and down but there wasn't really any dialogue invovled. Bloo did the same thing as he saying, "Oh I BEG to differ."

Fight Sequence No Jutsu! Bloo easily trounces Eduardo with a Punch, an Uppercut, then a Hyah-High-O-Siamese Kick Pants Kick Awesome in the gut, before slamming him to the floor with his awesomeness. Ed Falls, and then Bloo poses sexy like and stares at the sky. "Heh. I kick ass."

Unnecessary Transistion!!

Bloo decides to go to Mac's House that day, since he got kicked out of Foster's... for the twentieth Time that week. "I bet Mac's Mom will warm up to me for reals! Oh wait a minute, something I said doesn't sound right. Hmm, must be my Imagination." Then goes inside, stands at the door, and says, "Hey Mac's Mom!" But we can't see her face but it's heavily implied that she's smoking or something and she says in a gritty voice, "_Go play in Traffic._" "Okay." So Bloo stepped out like that.

Transition to the STREET!

"Stupid Mac playing with his ball dangerously close to street where a lot of people are present!" said Bloo to Mac, who came on screen with a soccer ball.

"Hey Mister Bloo can I have my ball back?" He said even though his mouth wasn't moving... weird. So Bloo said, "You STUPID YA CAN'T BE PLAYING WITH A BALL, I MEAN DEAR GOD YOU COULD GET HIT BY CAR AND THEN YOU'LL have a FAce that looks like this!!" Bloo made the ugly face to say his point. "and Don't look at me like I don't know what I'm talking about my uncle did the exact same thing!"

"Uh, Bloo? _I _made you, also, I know not to wander carrlessly in the street. I"m not your uncle."

AWKWARD SILENCE!!! WOOOO!!!

"So can I have my ball back?" says Mac.

"I never took it," says Bloo. "You can bounding over to me!" But Mac was gone, and also now playing in the street with the ball. "Freaking Dumbass." then after a moment the ball bounced free, and ball looked so AWESOME that it could only augment his awesomeness by an Awesome Fragment, and Bloo opened his mouth to scream, "THAT'S IT, BALLS MINE!"

Then jumped over and got hit by a car with two people going, "GOD I'm fucking Pretty", and NOW we're back to the beginning of the STory!!

"And HERE I am, Dead as a Doornail," Said Bloo.

"BINGO!!" Bloo turned around. Today's part of Botan will be played by BERRY.... DUNNN!!

"Heather?" Said Bloo. "NO... BERRY!" "CHERRY!!" "BERRY- Screw it. You're dead and I'm the pilot of the River Styx!"

"Since when the Reaper is a cute Girl whose name I can't remember even if Hell froze over? Hey YOU'RE WITCH! YOU COULD HEX ME!"

Berry Said, "No I couldn't hex you, I masturbate to sensual Photos of You in a Locker Room, just like Jennifer Love Hewitt! Anyway, I obsess over you day and night so I got stuck with this job! Also I'm here to give a chance to life back!"

"Crazy bitch, I can't understand a word coming out of your mouth! Sweet!"

"Shut up! Go to your Wake!"

"Huh? How'd they plan it so Fast!? I just died 30 seconds ago!"

"They posted your death on Youtube."

"Hmm..." says Bloo. "That makes sense."

LATER THAT NIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!

Lively music plays in the background, and everybody else including the ghost, Blooregard. Bloo sees this and says, "MAN SOMEBODY BETTER BE UPSET!! Oh look, Frankie."

Frankie's seen wailing over bloo's death and sobs "Why could he follow my orders like most imaginary friends that are cute and rapable!?"

Then Bloo cocked an eye and said, "O-kay... that's one."

"Senior BLOOOOO!!!" Bloo looks down and sees Eduardo being restrained by a hundred other imaginaries, apparently sobbing for Bloo. "YOU'D BETTER COME BACK TO life or I'll KILL you myself!! Then I'll KILL YOU AGAIN!" Then Ed made a fist at Bloo's glamour Shot. "YOU, YOU AND STUPID... Glamour shot... SHOT PHOTO!! PLEASE Bloo, you're my only reason for living!! _And-I'm-NOT-gay!!!_"

Ghost Bloo said, "That's Two..."

Then Mac's Mom was there and she was drunk but you couldn't actually see her face and stuff and she's like, "How can I go on... _without the welfare fund to cover me?!_"

Berry appeared and she says, "wow. Hell of a party is it?"

Bloo looked angsty and Cool thoughtful. "Yeah. Not quite what I espected."

"So what's the plan then?"

Then Bloo goes, "Well I can only get back at the those bastards for celebrating my death, and escape your horribly squeaky voice, if I go and do the thing to that guy, pee-pee joke and get my life back if I'm alive, so uh, let's do it."

Then Berry swoops bloo on her broomstick (TOLD ya she's a Witch!) and they fly off, Berry Screaming, "to infinity and beyond!"

"YOU CRAZY OAR-RIDING BITCH!!" Screams Bloo as ride off in the moonlight sky. What dangers, what bagels await our hero, Blooregard Q. Kazoo? Why do you care? Do you want some? Forget it? Forget you! Forget What? Who are you? Who Am I? Anyways, Total Awesomeness ENDING!!

- **FHFIM Abridged **-

* * *

**A/N: Yep. Laters. **

**This came straight out of Text Edit. I guess I'll have to learn to adjust. Textedit. Textedit. Textedit. Textedit. Canadian Jaywalking No Jutsu. **


End file.
